Outta My Mind After Midnite.
“Any man who will look into his heart and honestly write what he sees there will find plenty of readers” ~ Edgar Watson Howe
Outta My Mind After Midnight: A newsletter about my Journey in Life: my Creative Endeavors; Thoughts; Stories; Masculinity; Men’s Work; Martial Arts; Prostate Cancer-Intimacy & Sex; Hopes; Fears; Dreams; Fatherhood; Faith; Prayers; Life of the Unborn; Attitude; Approach; Escaping the Matrix; Men’s Health; Never Giving Up and much more.
I’ve been encouraged by Walter Kirn, Amanda Fortini, K. Z. Howell, Shelley McCrory, Theo Jordan, Steve Salerno, Cecil Charles, Katharine Spehar, Andrew Davis, Shun Smith, Gigi Levangie-Elise, Michael Hicks, Dave Hardin, Bryant Pearson and Willis Eschenbach to create and share my stories and thoughts from Outta My Mind. I made a promise to them that I would and as a Man of Honor it’s foremost important to keep my word. What else does a Man really have to stand on in life?
It has also become important for me each passing day to share my stories with my three adult sons to know more about who their father was, is, and still evolving to become. I’ve lived an extraordinary incredible life and I thank God for allowing me this time on earth to do more, and experience more than many ever dream about.
Most of my writing comes from “Outta My Mind After Midnite,” I’m what I call a nocturnal creative type, a “StarWriter.” My creative juices start flowing when the “Stars come out at night.” I’ve been like this most of my life. Those who know me well, as those of you reading this will come to find out, I’m a self-described “StarWalker.”
The stories of my journey will not be told in chronological order and will open up the tightly sealed box of stories that have never been told. I’m also a self-described “Over-sharer.” I’ve sometimes seen that as a weakness/curse and other times as an extraordinary gift of strength and courage of allowing myself to be vulnerable. Either way, it’s who I am.
Welcome to my Life Journeys from “Outta My Mind After Midnite.”
I don’t pretend to be some great or even good writer, because I’m not and I’m so ok with acknowledging that. I admire those that are, like many of the people who I promised I would take this part of my journey on. I’m more grammatically incorrect than I’m correct. I’m also not a technically trained writer. I love to write and not being exceptional at something has never held me back from stepping off the cliff into the darkness without a chute. I have to admit I do have a perfectionist streak that often whispers loudly that what I write just isn’t good enough and with multiple rewrites, I can make my written words sing to ears and hearts that are open. I’ve come to realize that’s more of an excuse to satisfy the inner voice of self-sabotage that screams my voice is not good enough for the world to hear. I’m throwing all of that crap out the window just where it belongs, trust me it’s much more of a challenge than most could imagine.
We all have our own secrets, our own brokenness, our own masks we show not only to the outside world of family, friends, coworkers, and those we don’t know but engage with every day but also to ourselves. Without seeing the masks we show ourselves, we can never remove the masks we show to others. Our freedom lies in removing the masks we see in the mirror. As my friend Bryant says: “We all have broken refrigerators, we just don’t know the depth of broken others’ refrigerators are.”
The one thing I will promise each of you is… I will always look into my heart and write what I see. Even if that means exposing what I’ve tried to hide for so many decades to myself and others.
The hardest thing I’m faced with at this moment is where do I start.
So where did this inner voice of self-sabotage come from? So begins my first story:
The Tape Recorder
Thank you for reading my first of many posts to come.
Welcome to Outta My Mind After Midnite
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In gratitude and love, B. Kevin
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I’m encouraged by your candor and I look forward to you sharing your story.